Run
by you'vegotthis
Summary: "Want me to hold you down, keep you from getting away?" He huffed into her hair."Would you?" Spoilers for Always.


"I'm going to run."

"What?"

"I'm going to run. I'm going to ruin this. Ruin us." She whispered, cradled between his shoulder and neck.

He didn't doubt her sincerity. Didn't doubt her ability. She could run, she probably would run. But right now he was holding her in his arms and the rest of the world had faded away.

He closed his eyes.

"Want me to hold you down, keep you from getting away?" He huffed into her hair.

"Would you?"

"Means I'm gonna hold your hand. . . in public."

She swallowed," I know."

"Means I'm not gonna sit across from you anymore when we share a booth at Remy's. I'm gonna squeeze you into a corner, make you ask to get out."

"Won't ask."

"Don't make promises to me you can't keep, Kate."

"Don't make me promise what you know I can't, Rick."

"I love you."

There was a long pause. He'd said that a few times.

Damn her heart. She couldn't get the words out, the tangled on her tongue, choked her voice.

"You know you are going to have to say it sometime. Makes it harder to run." His tone rich and warm.

She smiled over his shoulder, squeezed him tighter, drew on his solid physical presence wrapped around her body. He was already her anchor, the words were rope-line between. She could do this, she could give him this.

"I love you too."

He pulled her back, looked her in the eye. Pointed at her with his chin. "Look me in the eyes and say it so I believe."

"I love you Richard Castle. I do."

Damn his metrosexualness, he was going to cry. Felt the sting. He'd waited so long, came so close to giving up. Hated her, hated himself for loving her. In the last month alone he'd been a chump, a jerk, an idiot. And he'd come so close, so close to letting go, and then this. This.

She leaned in to kiss him, softly, sweetly, then with more passion on her part. Like she wanted to prove her words. Make them less abstract. Real.

She tasted her words to him on his tongue, his words to her on his lips. This wasn't a roll in the hay, a comfort, or a big bang. His tongue slowly slipped, grazed along her teeth. This was love, tender and sweet and no longer forbidden.

He pulled back," you wanna run from that?"

"No." She draped her arms around his neck, let his slide low around her hips.

"No. I don't want to run. I don't . . . I'm scared, you scare me."

"You're past the hard part my love, past the words; the words always seem to hang us up don't they?"

"I'm sorry, did you just call me 'my love'? Yeah, see _that_ I want to run from."

He smiled wide at her. "No pet names?"

"You are my pet, I am not yours." He pulled her hips closer, forcing her to step between his legs. Kissed her temple as he spoke.

"Hmm, Kate, good, come take care of me."

"Oh brother."

"Oh most definitely not your brother. Come on Katie," his mouth had discovered her neck,"think of all the wicked . . ."

_Oh god, _she swallowed.

"wicked . . ."

She sucked in a breath.

"ways we could use as . . "

He sucked that spot right at her pulse point, she stopped breathing, couldn't exhale.

"inspiration."

"Rick," she remembered to breathe, panted a little.

"The things I want to do to you Kate. They are going to make you throw out those running shoes. I'm on you like glue on a good toupee."

"I often wondered about that hair of yours."

"Ha," he said humorlessly, "you know you secretly want to run your hands through it."

She tussled his hair, scratched his scalp, cupped his ear. "Hmm, yeah."

"Wanna run from that?"

"No."

"See, I'm not scary. I can be your pet. You can call me 'stud.'"

She laughed at him but sobered staring into his eyes. So much was there. It terrified her, sparked her unchecked words.

"I'm gonna run. I'm not good at this." _I'm gonna run._

"Then I'm going to chase you."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

She did run.

Once his secret was exposed, what else was there left to do? How else was she supposed to deal with her treacherous heart? The heart that kept leading her wrong. _Follow your heart_. _The heart wants what the heart wants_. Lies. Her heart wasn't that good, it had been a shell since the bullet. Not to be trusted. What else was there left to do?

He'd chased her.

"Kate, I love you, if that means anything to you,_ please_, don't do this."

_Don't run Kate. _

"How the hell could you do this Castle?"

She wasn't using his name. This was his title, a little distance. Not a good sign.

"Because I love you Kate."

"A lot of people do wrong things in the name of love, Castle. You cannot use that excuse."

Now his ire was up. She continued.

"You made a deal for my life. You never consulted me. Who the hell gave you that right?"

She wanted to goad him. She couldn't be the only one to ruin this. Knew it would be easier later. It was selfish, she didn't care. Ground him down with her next words.

"Partners tell each other things, they work on thing together, they don't make decisions they have NO RIGHT TO MAKE."

She was starting to lose it. He took advantage of her pause.

"I am more than just your partner." Tears pricked his eyes. "You know it."

"Yeah, well, not anymore," she hesitated momentarily, "get out."

He stood staring at her. His stillness sprung her tension. Made her angrier.

Her nose flared, she saw red. Marched toward him arm outstretched pointing at the door.

"GET OUT."

He was fuming, started toward the door. Couldn't think. Natural instinct took over.

Rick slowly pushed the chain lock into place, sealing his fate. Locking them in.

He grabbed her as she turned away from him, bear hugging her, arms trapped at her sides. Shocked, she bent over his arms, back to chest.

"Stop. STOP. LET GO. CASTLE, LET GO."

She struggled, furious. She kicked him, hard. He widened his legs, enforced his own stance as she pushed her weight over his arms, forcing him to drop her to the floor. Refusing to let go, he lay on top of her, arms still trapped beneath them.

"Let go." She was muffled by her proximity to the floor.

She could feel it welling up. If he didn't go, if he didn't leave, he was going to see her lose it. He couldn't see that, she couldn't let him. Weakness. She kicked her legs trying to find purchase, tried to push him away.

He knew he wasn't strong enough to overpower her, couldn't even if he tried. But he could out-wait her. He knew he could do that. He was a fucking expert at that.

Then he heard her.

She was weeping, soft hiccups growing louder until she stopped moving all together and suddenly screamed out her pain. She took in deep breaths as she heaved her sobs. He knew he should, but he didn't let go, held her tight, let her scream at the world. At the injustice of all she had been dealt.

He closed his eyes to her screams, but he heard. His heart heard.

When her sobbing had quieted, he pulled his arms out from under her. Leaned over to place his hands on the floor on either side of her head, saw her now- free hands go to her face. Hiding.

He gently pulled her hip, flipping her over to face him. Hands still hiding her eyes. They were silent a long while.

"You know I'm still here, right?"

She nodded, face covered.

"You know I'm gonna chase you, right?"

He moved to sit by her hip, pulled at the hands in front of her face, stretched out to pin them to the sides of her head. Laced his fingers gently through hers and looked into her eyes, "stop running Kate."

She turned her head to look away from him.

"I love you too, Rick."

"Look me in the eyes so I believe."

And she did.

A/N: Please review this, it breaks my heart to get 3 reviews after I've really tried to create something you will read. Put a smiley face in the box if nothing else.


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